“I believe in the magic of books. I believe that during certain periods in our lives we are drawn to particular books–whether it’s strolling down the aisles of a bookshop with no idea whatsoever of what it is that we want to read and suddenly finding the most perfect, most wonderfully suitable book staring us right in the face. Unblinking. Or a chance meeting with a stranger or friend who recommends a book we would never ordinarily reach for. Books have the ability to find their own way into our lives.”
― Cecelia Ahern
One of the wonderful things I see happening in the E-Stranged community, is the sharing of personal experiences and stories and also the sharing of information and resources that have been helpful for each of you. I’d like to open up a thread that would allow people to post reading recommendations. If you could name the book and share a bit about why you found it useful in terms of looking at or managing your estrangment, I will compile a list of reader resources and put it over in the sidebar so you are all able to easily access it.
E-stranged 
I have always believed that the books found me.
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I, too, have had books bring themselves to my attention!
However, in keeping with our themes, I would suggest the two domestic violence novels by Ilsa Evans. The first is Broken and the second is Sticks and Stones.
A young woman is needing to escape from her husband in the first book, Broken, and I think Ilsa shows the way her husband has brainwashed her. Sometimes we can be too naive and unaware of the evil in another person, until it is too late. These two books portray a dysfunctional marriage very well. Her other books are funny and sunny, and set in a Melbourne suburb, and I recommend them as well.
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I haven’t read anything specifically on estrangement but one book I really love is Women Who Run with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes Ph.D. It’s helped me all along the way.
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I love that book!
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i like this idea a lot.
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The single most life changing book for me has been “Leaving Home: The Art of Separating from Your Difficult Family.” It is not specifically about estrangement but it is about dysfunctional family relationships and attachement issues, which can often be a part of estrangement. I have read many, many self-help books on family relationships, toxic people etc and none have ever spoken to me as clearly as this book. Can not recommend it highly enough.
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Hi, Please let me just say THANK YOU for running this site. Speaking of books, I have used reading and writing to deal with family estrangement issues for a long, long time. I think it’s important to identify in others’ stories the things you may not have words to describe. I have actually written and published/posted a few fictional short stories based on my experiences, and writing and sharing has helped me to transmute the negative experiences into art, and thus make something good out of the bad. Estrangement hurts, but there is healing — even if the estrangement is permanent. I am very glad I found this place.
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Books by Melodie Beattie have been helpful, specifically, ‘Co-Dependent No More’. Also, I recommend
‘Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson’. This was extremely helpful and validating to me because it helped me to understand not only myself but the person I am estranged from. There is a great website by these guys as well: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com.
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Reblogged this on theandrewconlon and commented:
“I believe in the magic of books.” — Cecelia Ahern
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Yes!I am always telling my teen son that books have all the answers to every question:
“Missing Mom” by Joyce Carol Oates- A death triggers unusual stuff.
“We Once Were the Mulvaney’s” by Joyce Carol Oates-A very wrong reason to rift someone with a little karma results.
“Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member by Mark Sichel”- Make a firm decision that you will heal. Go forward, and do not look back.
“Houses” by Cynthia Rogers Parker. Two sisters who fended for themselves in a primarily motherless home. Are houses a metaphor for how we make deliberate decisions? “Happy Houses, whether cottage, or castle, are alike in the signs they show of being cared for, in the simple evidences they reveal that someone is paying attention, and for now anyway, there is enough energy, enough help, to keep the chaos at bay…. “
Many many more , I’ll write more later/
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More Books
“Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption” Laura Hillenbrand. Comparative suffering? Ha! This indomitable figure will really toughen you, which may be just what a rifted person really needs. (no exceptional literary merit/ a little heavy on evangelism)
“A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail” by Bill Bryson. Read this and laugh! Really- you must read it. I am now reading other Bryson books. Make laughing a part of your day.
“Canada” by Richard Ford- Not really a personal fav- but there were some hot spots in the book.Memorable Quote: “I already knew, of course, from my own life, whether I could have said it or not- that the plausible often became as plausible as the sun coming up.”
“Me Talk Pretty One Day” by David Sedaris. You wanna laugh? Read Sedaris. A misanthrope chronicling all things petty and small. (The gayness of Sedaris is a tad awkward but OMG is he funny!)
“Toxic Psychiatry…” by Peter Roger Breggin (Aug 15, 1994) Psychiatry is tricky and this author is an expert witness about injury from psychiatric medications. A better path to healing and processing pain is by extending ourselves to others, relating to others, writing and talking.
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Editor’s note
Canada by Richard Ford should read: “…The implausible became the plausible…”
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I’ve always been an avid reader and could recommend many books, but I’ll just add one for now and that is:
Solitude: A Return to Self, by Anthony Storr
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Her is one that I do NOT recommend – Family Estrangements by Barbara LeBey. This will be the first book that I actually throw out! The author is a lawyer, not someone with any experience in the mental healthcare field. She does not use a realistic set of characters and stories for her examples.
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